Superwalrus Returns

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Superwalrus Returns

Superman Returns Poster For no good reason, I decided to grab Superman Returns on a recent visit to the local library. I already knew that CT had no kind words for it and now I can partially comprehend why.


I appreciate the attempt to start off in the middle of something and avoid repeating the origin story, but the plot still started off very slowly. Luthor’s scheme for world domination was at least original, but the writers didn’t give even a hint of explanation as to how Lex knew what he did about Kryptonian crystals and meteorites. Everything, and I mean everything, about the Superman-Lois Lane relationship was weird and bad. George Lucas must have phoned in some ideas he had leftover from the Phantom Menace.


The special effects were very good, but not great. Some of the pure CGI scenes were very obvious on the high resolution of a computer monitor. The soundtrack was pretty good and I was glad they used the original theme by John Williams. The acting performances were nothing to write home about, even Kevin Spacey’s portrayal of Luthor was rather pedestrian. Faithful depictions of the characters or not (I’m not the one to know), I didn’t engage or empathize with any of the characters.

Story score–

Presentation score–

I definitely cannot give the rewatchable walrus. Heck, I didn’t even make it through my first viewing on normal speed. About halfway through I kicked WinDVD into time compression mode in order to get back 45 minutes of my life.

By | 2017-03-17T02:56:29+00:00 April 3rd, 2008|Categories: Article|Tags: , , , , , , |2 Comments

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  1. PLee February 23, 2017 at 4:00 am - Reply

    Yeah, it didn't work for me. With that kind of budget, I would've rather seen some of the coolness of the Superman mythos.

    I'm talking Bottle City of Kandor, the Legion of Superheroes, ten kinds of kryptonite, Jimmy's signal watch, maybe have Darkseid show up. I'm talking Lex in the green-n-purple armor with the Legion of Doom right behind him.

  2. CT February 23, 2017 at 4:00 am - Reply

    I wrote a review for this shortly after it came out. Here's a truncated version of that review that I posted on Netflix:

    First, I disagree with the decision to make this "Superman III Redux." I do think that telling the origin story again would have been the wrong thing to do. But, these characters have history with one another, yet this is the first time we've seen them in this form. So it's jarring.

    Second, the characters weren’t well thought out. Superman/Clark Kent (portrayed by Routh who’d be a better TV Superman than a movie Superman) is written as a lovesick stalker who isn't that bright and is a little too impressed with himself. Lois is written so that all of her spunk is depleted. It doesn’t help that Bosworth acts like she’s in a high school play and makes Lois completely unlikable. Lex Luthor is also utilized incorrectly. He says at some point that he has to fight the brawn with brains, but he never really does use his brains. He actually tries to use brawn and never becomes a worthy opponent.

    Finally, the script is really weak. A question is asked perpetually: Does the world need Superman? It was never really answered. Lois wrote a piece on why the world doesn't need Superman. None of the reasons are ever given within the film. She begins to write a story about why the world does need Superman. Again, none of the reasons are ever given. Instead, they replace answers with "clever" religious imagery. It is presented that Superman = Christ. While I disagree with that view, I can see where one could draw that conclusion. The over-arching question and the religious imagery needed to brought together better and that could have been done very easily with the Marsden’s character. Does the world need a Superman because there are bank robbers and crashing planes? Bank robberies will still happen and planes will still crash, but extending this parallel, Superman should give hope to all mankind to the point that people change for the better because he is such an inspiration. All the pieces were in place to make that point happen, it's just never tied together in a satisfying way.

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