I think it’s safe to say that I’m not shy about sticking stuff in my pie hole that can only loosely be called “food,” but despite this enjoyment of subpar foodstuffs, I have never really liked the McRib. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that my tastes have changed somewhat. Things I liked, I no longer enjoy as much, and things I use to not like, I find aren’t so bad anymore.

So, that being said, I thought maybe it was worth trying the McRib again. I can’t remember the last time I had one, but it’s been a long while. But my plans almost changed when the McDonald’s we went to was under construction and had a “buy one, get one” special on Quarter Pounders. A deal like that is hard to pass on. Fortunately, my wife jumped in on the QP deal and I decided to get a McRib and a Quarter Pounder and just pas on the fries.

(As an aside, this McDonald’s was apparently staffed by people who lacked the ability to hear any high-pitched sounds as there was a constant stream of fry machine and other timer beeping alerts during our entire duration there.)

The moment of truth arrived and it was time for me to eat my McRib. I took one bite and it was about as good as I remembered it. That is to say, I didn’t really dig it. I did like the sauce, but the “meat” itself was meh. I imagine this is what replicated food tastes like on the Enterprise.

Two bites in, and I was glad I saved the Quarter Pounder for last. But then I got the idea to do one of my favorite things and craft a Frankenstein creature out of these two sandwiches.

Introducing, the Porker Pounder. Not really an apt name perhaps, but what I dub it nonetheless. And it was…well, it was something.

Next time the McRib comes back, I won’t be itching to go out and grab one. I guess that means more for Jeeg.